Your Beautiful
Learn to “Trust” again
When starting a relationship it is very important that you have trust, and if you have been used and abused in previous relationships, it can be hard to trust again. But, in order to have a healthy relationship, you need to figure out how to trust, as you can’t have a healthy relationship without having trust to keep the relationship together.
So, here are the tips that I have for rebuilding your trust and learning how to trust, especially after you have gotten out of a bad relationship where the trust was minimal to none.
- Before starting a new relationship, make sure that you are ready for it. Give yourself time to heal from the previous relationship that caused you to lose your trust in men/women before you try to jump into another relationship. You will know when you are ready to try again.
- Start a new relationship off slowly. From the beginning make sure that you both understand that you want to take things slow. Be honest from the get-go, so that your partner is aware that you do like him, but just need to take things slow because past relationships have not gone as smoothly as you would like, and you just don’t want to rush anything.
- Be patient and do not rush. Your trust in men will return, but it will take time before you are at full speed again. When trying to convince yourself to trust your new boyfriend, think hard. Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him? What is he telling you? How open is he being, especially about telling you things before you have a chance to ask? If he hasn’t given you a reason to dis-trust him yet, then trust him, which can be hard especially if you’re thinking of what will he do in the future that will cause you to lose trust again. Just be patient. Take the beginning of the new relationship day by day.
- If you start to see patterns in your new relationship that you saw in your past relationship, stop things before they get too serious. No, that doesn’t mean leave the relationship just yet; it means talk it out now so that he know what is going on in your head about the situation and you can see how the two of you can alter the actions and reactions. f he doesn’t know, then nothing can change. He may actually be an honest, trustworthy person.
- Talk to him. Ask him what he’s thinking. You don’t know what’s going on his his head, unless you ask. You can’t assume you know what he’s thinking. You can’t assume that you know his thoughts about you and your relationship or about situations and scenarios that you are encountering.
- Stop creating stories and scenarios in your head. These thoughts have no real basis, and they create suspicion about your partner. If you can stop or just change up these scenarios, then you can stop thinking the worse about your partner. Plus, these made-up scenarios in your head could be the downfall of a potentially wonderful and near perfect relationship that you would have had if you had stopped or altered the thoughts.
- Always tell the truth. If you can speak the truth and your partner can speak the truth back to you without either of you getting defensive, you will be able to foster better relationship with your partner because you will be able to freely express what you are thinking and how you are feeling without the fear of being judged.
Remember that the foundation for any healthy relationship is emotional safety and trust (physical safety, being a given), so if you are not emotionally secure with your partner, you need to find the proper means of expressing yourself so that you can better the relationship.
You need to base trust on yourself, not the other person. If you have trust issues in a relationship, you need to diagnose the problem, as to why don’t you trust your partner. Once you know why you don’t trust him, then you can figure out how to fix the situation. You may not be with the right person but you may. You will not know unless you fix your trust issues and give the relationship a proper try.
No matter what reason has caused you to lose your trust, you should remember that if you do not have trust in your relationship and your partner, you need to be willing to work on finding ways to trust, which will depend on how willing you are at opening up to your partner.
(via azmarieee)
tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
Driving in the car, when i was a baby :)
